He was above me:
– “No, I don’t want to do this. I’m scared.”
– “Stop freaking out, and you already said you would.”
And then everything hurt. I remember him telling me to get on my hands and knees and him shoving my face into the pillow. Every time he thrust my head hit his bed frame. I remember sitting on his toilet afterwards staring at the wall for a really long time. He didn’t kiss me when I left.